Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
