It's Friday. Sex?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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