***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize