check it out our google latitudes are spooning
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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