It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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