It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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