he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
