Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
NoShamevember. You game?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
