Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
