You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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