What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
