dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
if only i could text you this smell
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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