If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
