Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
