You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize