If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize