I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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