Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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