problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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