none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
