just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
