My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
