yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize