Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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