i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
