"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
