Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
