What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
