Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
