call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
