Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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