He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
