Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
