hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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