is your mom at the bar?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
