why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize