Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
