I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
