So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
