people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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