She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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