so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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