Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
