I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
