I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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