dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
