This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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