Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize