I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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