I looked at my own cervix.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Dear god my vagina.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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