My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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