Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
