It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
