Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize