Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
