Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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