I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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