Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
