I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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