two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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